Long Distance Lessons

In the current world we live in most of us are separated from someone we love. With the global wide call to enforce social distancing and boarder restrictions many of us haven’t seen friends, family, and partners in months. For me, I am no stranger to a long-distance relationship, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I did an illustration series to show the loneliness and the dependence we place on the technology around us to be connected to our loved ones.

Some days, it reminds me of when I was a child going on a family road trip, where it felt like the driving never ended, and the classic phrase; “are we there yet” would be used. Some days it feels like “are we there yet” still applies… Long-distance is hard, it requires more effort than most are willing to talk about. But, when it’s your person, you know that one day it will be over. You know you’ll be held by them again, go on adventures with them and it makes it easier, it makes it worth it. Every day, love does win. Even though its contrast by so much pain, fear, and doubt – love wins.

Love will always win. As where there is hope, love, good wifi, patience, and a few too many bad jokes we’ll all make it through this.

This illustrated series show how many of us are going through the same thing and doing the same things. Through shared experiences there is a community, there is connection and shared joy and hope.

1) Time Differnce

For some of us, such as myself, our partners live in wildly different time zones. Ours is an 11 hour time difference, his day is my night and versa visa. Some day’s it feels like we’re two ships passing by in the night because our days are so flipped. In this drawing, I wanted to capture how we hold on, how we sometimes change our days around just to talk to our person. I drew a self-soothing heart, arms holding itself with a clock, as sometimes we are just waiting for our phone to go off, to know they’re awake at the same time as you are.

2) Solitude & Connection

This one is a happier truth, through the wonders of technology we are able to form and maintain our connections with the people we care about. The nature of our reality has changed drastically, and sometimes technology has the magic to transport us into a moment where it feels like you’re really there with your person, even if just for a moment.

3) Together But Apart

The simplest of moments can no longer happen, moments like sitting together. But with the wonders of technology, we can still create a form of a bond. The phone’s face shows 11.11pm, which is to make a wish. Many of us wish we could be with our persons. And with the power of technology, we can have moments where we really feel like we’re together. Our phone’s almost become an appendix and an extension of that person.

4) Intimacy

Who else reading this is in a long-distance relationship, and some nights sleeps with their phone next to them? I know some mornings I wake up with my phone in my bed because I’ve been talking to Jean until I’ve fallen asleep. When naming this ‘intimacy’ I knew that many thoughts would jump to other things, but intimacy here is being able to share those small moments that would be near impossible without our phones. Such as moments like a laugh at our dogs trying to sneak on the bed, being able to be together during these seemingly normal moments makes us feel human again.

It’s easy to feel helpless, lost, and frustrated as many of us have no idea when we might see our partners again. I know for myself, many people ask me when I’ll see Jean again, and it seems like something I should know. Because in a normal world, I would – I have free will over when I’d see my person again. But not anymore. Now our decisions are made by governments, we can’t make plans and we can’t even try. It feels like our moments are dictated and stolen. But in the giggle of a good joke, there is still our moments of connection, moments that no one can take away from us. In the quiet hours of my early mornings and evening we can connect with each other. To try to make our realities normal.

For many of us, we have no control over when we’ll see our partners again. Our lives, love and future are dictated by the invisible – and invisible (and very real) virus, laws and polices we can’t keep up with. We deal with so many emotions at once, it’s hard to fathom how we process it all. But, there is light at the end of this – there has to be. When we get through this, and I know we all will, we will be stronger.  Yes, some parts might be broken, and there will be trauma to work through.

But we will all walk out of this, with love in our hearts – and with our phones in hand, but calling our person to ask if they need anything from the shop on the way home from work.

Love wins, our love wins.

Always and forever.